Dermatology Guinea Pig

For the betterment of tomorrow's generation and to make my contribution into the ever expanding world of science, I decided to sacrifice what I deem as an insignificantly small amount, to the dermatology research that was headed by my course mate, in the hope that I will bring about a revelation in the booming field of research that have produced many of the finest medication for the sick and served humanity throughout the centuries, in every way possibly imagined.

Or you can say I agreed because the person who did it is very leng chai.

So, this is what that was posted:

'The study involves the introduction of 8 tiny tubes (1/3 mm in diameter) into the arm through a normal blood-taking needle along the surface of the skin, to the depth of a splinter. Using the tubes we can dialyse a small volume (0.2 ml in 90 minutes) of a noradrenaline or verapamil and saline mix and collect the dialysate produced.
During the experiment UV light will be shone on the skin on the forearm. UV light administered will be less than that normally received on a summer’s day in Northern Europe. The study will also involve a small sample of blood being taken.

In our experience the technique is painless and will not scar. The study will last around 90 minutes, if you would be willing to consider being part of this then please contact me. '

Being the indispensable friend that I am, I promptly sent him a text expressing my holy and totally self-sacrificing decision in being a guinea pig - all for world peace.

With no further ado, I was immediately accepted, thanked and praised to the skies for my role in saving the world.

Or probably savingt the next acne-faced youngster of tomorrow.

Upon arrival into the primitive looking room, my forearm and arm was covered with white cream, which read 'lignocaine' on it.

I was sent away for 1 hour to ensure that the anesthetic worked properly and sure enough, my skin began to go numb after awhile.

Well, being the incredible medical student that I am, I obviously did not read into the small print nor read the procedure that was going to be performed on my beautiful, smooth skin as I expected the authorities to have already done it and on top of that applied for insurance or indemnity coverage should any malpractice happen.

Oh, boy.

This teaches you to never take things for granted.


The researcher took a few needles.

8 light blue ones like the above, 3rd from left.

And stabbed it through my skin.

Kinda like that. Without the syringe itself nor is the needle as long as the picture. But the idea is the same. 4 syringes in the forearm and 4 in the arm.
Man, I regret not taking any pictures of it. It was morbid.

If I had a needle phobia, this would be the right time to pass out.

But as cool as I am with needles, having 8 syringe heads poking out just below your skin is...

in short...

nauseating.

8 tiny tubes were passed through the needle head and the needle head was then removed so that the tubes stayed in the skin. 8 collecting flasks were then strapped on at the other end to collect the liquid that is passed through.

And them all tiny tubes were attached to this chim looking machine -

Wah, not only did it injure my arm, it made it look so fat too.

As they inject and collect diasylate from my horribly punctured arm.

The UV light bit
exposed my skin to even more harmful radiation. But of course, coming from a place like Malaysia, I doubt that level of UV radiation would've caused so much as a dent in my skin cell's structure.

After 90 minutes of sitting in one position while the researchers constantly changed the tubes every 15 minutes, all the hullabaloo were finally removed, leaving me with:

Blood all over.

Well, to be fair, after they cleaned the wounds with alcohol swipes,

I was left with a few scars (that are guaranteed to disappear) and bruises to mark my completely sanctimonious yet humble act of service to mankind.

I should really be getting the Noble Prize.

But, instead, all I got was a 10 pound note:


Which upon seeing my battle scars, a friend laughed at my insanity and naivety at 'cheap' labour at the cost of my beautiful, smooth skin.