Dangerously Close to Being Old

Yes, rather.

I spent the dawning of the 30th of September 2009 working nights at the hospital. No birthday dinner, no celebration.

I did not expect any whatsoever because my current relationship and ongoing social status with my fellow house officers are not at the level of birthday celebration chumminess.

I wasn't affected at all though, after all I celebrated my 'early' birthday in Toulon, where Kai Lin and PT went in search for candles (bijuu in French) to put on my chocolate melting pot dessert.


A huge fireworks candle indeed.

I was however, pleasantly surprised when I emerged for my handover at 8am and all my surgical house officers wished me happy birthday.

Jonny even got me a Tesco Chocolate Muffin to eat.

I went home a little happier and got my second surprise of the day, when my military man flatmate gave me a card and a present. Practical everyone puts it - a TV antenna to go with my Samsung LCD Flatscreen!

It works.

2 hours before I was due in for work again, my SHO and partner turned up at my doorstep with 2 cakes - Tesco's Raspberry Cheesecake and a mini Smarties gift cake.

Yet another surprise.

Then another 3 friends popped by with half a bottle of wine - I know, nothing impressive whatsoever but I spent an enjoyable 30 mins eating as much cake as I can indulge in, and half a glass of wine. Cake, cake, cake.

Then came my weekend.

Edinburgh beckoned.

The first night was spent with my old classmates. I had no idea how much I missed them, how much I missed talking in the Malaysian slang and also just jabbering non stop. I really think I talk too much. What is that phrase - silence is golden, speech is silver? I Really Need to practice that. But, after all, we did spend 5 years together. That's almost 1/5 of my life.

Then came another cake, yes, a chocolate fudge cake from Double Dutch that Edinburgh's No. 1 chef - Su Ping tastefully decorated.


I mean, how can you say No to a cake like that?!


I had too generous slices.

The surprises did not end there.

The next morning, I was awakened from my nest of warm duvets with a chorus of Happy Birthday and a beautiful cheesecake materialised out of thin air.


I had a cheesecake right on my bed!! (not mine, technically. Meryl's).

Jo, Edinburgh's Chief Baker (and eater) made this lovely strawberry cheesecake. How can I express my love for her and the rest of the team? I cannot. It has to go to proof with me inhaling the entire cheesecake as fast as I can.



A slice of fatty cheesecake first thing in the morning, right after a minty teeth brushing - makes quite a difference to life's outlook.

I also received a DKNY pink apple perfume from them, so now I have both the green and pink version. Love it.
On top of that I also received a really posh manicure and pedicure set that's so uber high class, I am a bit afraid to use it.

From what I thought would be a really boring birthday for 2009, had in actual fact turned out to be a surprised filled one indeed.

I returned to Maidstone a tad deflated, but massively happy for I love my mates, also bearing in mind that I would be meeting everyone again the next weekend for our trip to Alton Towers.

Wicked.

Of Rude People

They are shit.

Was in the ward where a patient who is extremely complicated and annoying because she has this terrible pain that seems to go on forever and ever, was discharged and readmitted; whn I spotted the Acute Pain Team nurse - whose name is J..... (due to confidentiality) J..... the pain. It rhymes btw. Go figure.

I spotted J and immediately asked her if she is seeing my patient at to which she snaps back and says no, she cannot do anymore for her and also that she has not had any official referral form for her. The ward sister then asks if she wanted us to put a proper referral in at to which she blatantly refuses and says NO.

EH B****. You are the PAIN TEAM OK. You would know most about pain drugs than ANY consultant and you are saying no? So if a patient comes in and there is nothing more I can do for them, do I say no, I am not going to see you?!

F.

What followed was a highly strung conversation where I asked her what was the last pain medication she prescribed for this patient and she immediately answered that she did not know, but the patient was on morphine, oxynorm.. etc...etc...
Of course, you are a nurse, it is totally your right to forget, not to mention you've seen her loads and controlled her pain medication all the time she was in. Your brain is probably the size of a pea. If not you could very well be a doctor. (This statement is only intended for her and I believe all other nurses are brilliant). Obviously, I see only 1 patient a day and with a turnover rate in urology that runs at an average of approximately 1 patient per year, the pain medication suddenly came to me (because my brain capacity is the size of the atlas), and I said, 'Ok, I believe it was Oxynorm Liquid. Can you tell me the dose you gave her?'

At to which J the bitch says in the superior-est tone, 'Can you not look into her notes? She has only been discharged for 2 days, her notes and drug charts should ALL BE HERE.'

And I retort, 'I can, but if you remember it NOW, I can prescribe it NOW and then the patient will stop bugging us all for pain relief every 2 seconds'

At to which the winner comes, (I should really document what she said to me in the patient's notes), 'What are you going to do if I am not around doctor?'

'Well, I will look into the BNF'
Duh, asshole. WTF are you going to do with NO doctors around?! While you are almost too easily replaceable with a book who gives me all the medicines and doses, I am tooting irreplaceable because you did not tooting go to medical school. What you effing know, I EFFING KNOW. Just at a lower level of competency. But what I know, you DON'T. So do not give me bullcrap about what I AM GOING TO DO WHEN THERE IS NO YOU AROUND.

'Well, what if I told you the wrong dose and you prescribed it and the blame will be on you cos you signed it....'

Eh, f****er. If you don't want to tell, then just SHUT UP and say you do not know or remember. Why in our good Lord's name do you even care if I got pulled up by the GMC for prescribing a wrong dose of Oxynorm Liquid?! It won't tooting KILL the patient and even if that happens, it's me who is answering, not you nitty gritty pudding face blabbering idiot who cannot work your brain cells to tell me the dose.
Even if you think I am taking the easy way out to ask the dose, I am more than happy to admit - I AM. So? Just say you don't know lah, end of story. So what if I have to dive myself into the drug formulary book to find out the proper dose or read through her entire stack of notes to confirm it?

Or you could make everyone's life easier if you just tell me it because you obviously tooting know the dose.
That's teamwork baby.
I mean bitch.

Anyway, after her lecture about me getting into trouble because of wrong dosing, I completely lost it, said,

'FINE. '

'FINE.'

And immediately stalked off the ward.

Possibly slamming the phone that was in my hand with quite unnecessarily force into its cradle and slamming the doors behind me.

No, I don't think I did that.

As I walked down to the paediatrics ward to clerk in 3 patients, I had to constantly remind myself to calm down, forget it and plaster on the fake warm smile when I finally had to meet the children and their parents.

On retrospect, I could probably have handled it better by saying in a sugary sweet voice that 'it is okay if you do not remember' instead of the two very stiff FINE. But things thought on retrospect always seems cleverer anyway.

I give up.

Enemy No. 1 have been made at my workplace.