A Cook Book in Mark's & Spencer's

with the title of:

Healthy Hens
Good Chickens.

Man if I was a chicken, I'll be angry.


Like Really Really ANGRY.

Dermatology Guinea Pig

For the betterment of tomorrow's generation and to make my contribution into the ever expanding world of science, I decided to sacrifice what I deem as an insignificantly small amount, to the dermatology research that was headed by my course mate, in the hope that I will bring about a revelation in the booming field of research that have produced many of the finest medication for the sick and served humanity throughout the centuries, in every way possibly imagined.

Or you can say I agreed because the person who did it is very leng chai.

So, this is what that was posted:

'The study involves the introduction of 8 tiny tubes (1/3 mm in diameter) into the arm through a normal blood-taking needle along the surface of the skin, to the depth of a splinter. Using the tubes we can dialyse a small volume (0.2 ml in 90 minutes) of a noradrenaline or verapamil and saline mix and collect the dialysate produced.
During the experiment UV light will be shone on the skin on the forearm. UV light administered will be less than that normally received on a summer’s day in Northern Europe. The study will also involve a small sample of blood being taken.

In our experience the technique is painless and will not scar. The study will last around 90 minutes, if you would be willing to consider being part of this then please contact me. '

Being the indispensable friend that I am, I promptly sent him a text expressing my holy and totally self-sacrificing decision in being a guinea pig - all for world peace.

With no further ado, I was immediately accepted, thanked and praised to the skies for my role in saving the world.

Or probably savingt the next acne-faced youngster of tomorrow.

Upon arrival into the primitive looking room, my forearm and arm was covered with white cream, which read 'lignocaine' on it.

I was sent away for 1 hour to ensure that the anesthetic worked properly and sure enough, my skin began to go numb after awhile.

Well, being the incredible medical student that I am, I obviously did not read into the small print nor read the procedure that was going to be performed on my beautiful, smooth skin as I expected the authorities to have already done it and on top of that applied for insurance or indemnity coverage should any malpractice happen.

Oh, boy.

This teaches you to never take things for granted.


The researcher took a few needles.

8 light blue ones like the above, 3rd from left.

And stabbed it through my skin.

Kinda like that. Without the syringe itself nor is the needle as long as the picture. But the idea is the same. 4 syringes in the forearm and 4 in the arm.
Man, I regret not taking any pictures of it. It was morbid.

If I had a needle phobia, this would be the right time to pass out.

But as cool as I am with needles, having 8 syringe heads poking out just below your skin is...

in short...

nauseating.

8 tiny tubes were passed through the needle head and the needle head was then removed so that the tubes stayed in the skin. 8 collecting flasks were then strapped on at the other end to collect the liquid that is passed through.

And them all tiny tubes were attached to this chim looking machine -

Wah, not only did it injure my arm, it made it look so fat too.

As they inject and collect diasylate from my horribly punctured arm.

The UV light bit
exposed my skin to even more harmful radiation. But of course, coming from a place like Malaysia, I doubt that level of UV radiation would've caused so much as a dent in my skin cell's structure.

After 90 minutes of sitting in one position while the researchers constantly changed the tubes every 15 minutes, all the hullabaloo were finally removed, leaving me with:

Blood all over.

Well, to be fair, after they cleaned the wounds with alcohol swipes,

I was left with a few scars (that are guaranteed to disappear) and bruises to mark my completely sanctimonious yet humble act of service to mankind.

I should really be getting the Noble Prize.

But, instead, all I got was a 10 pound note:


Which upon seeing my battle scars, a friend laughed at my insanity and naivety at 'cheap' labour at the cost of my beautiful, smooth skin.

I Lost My Pencil Case...

... in a medium security unit.

Orchard Clinic : Scotland's only forensic unit for the mentally ill. It was open in 2003 and granted the status of medium security, that is, just a step down from the prison hospital. As you can guess, people who come here are sick in the head and need constant monitoring as they are just not safe to go out into the community nor be put into a open ward. Most of them have trials or court cases pending on assaults - sexual or not, murders, breach of peace etc.

So, I left my pencil case in the staff kitchen one evening and returned the next day to ask for it.

Only to find out that everyone had seen it and can even describe my lovely red Elle pencil case with badges on it to fine detail - but no one knows where it is now.

-_-

That was the Wednesday.

Hello!!!!
MEDIUM SECURITY CAN!!! You need a special pass once you are in the reception and to get through every section of the hospital, you need to swipe your card and enter a code! Patients are not allowed out at all and only staff can enter the area where the doctors and nurses' offices are!!! Not to mention there are CCTV cameras everywhere! (of course due to my luck no CCTV in the staff kitchen =.=)

But of course, doctors can still be thieves right. Nurses too and maybe the old man that cleans the area when everyone has gone home.

-___-

SO ANNOYING.

Inside I had loads of pens and they were really expensive too! I have 2 pilot ball point pens that was with me since 1st year, 1 liquid paper correction pen that cost me RM 7 (dem expensive OK), a Pilot Hi Tech V5 Grip inky pen (that I got free from SingHealth's talk but looks very expensive), a orange marker pen (that I snitched from a friend), a black ball point pen from TVB (yes, Hong Kong TVB came here and gave free memorabilia) and loads of other pens that I really like (despite it all being given by pharmaceutical companies). Oh, and also a plastic ruler that has amazingly accurate measurements on it. Now I am ruler-less.

My pencil case is also branded ok and I even have badges from IMU (that I paid RM5 for) on it which portrays my love for medicine.

Gaaaarrrh..

Another person to add to my list of 'Rot In Hell' prayers for taking my pencil case with all my lovely but mostly free pens.

And I am still continuing to curse the person who stole my black stethoscope in the hospital last term to Rot In Hell for Eternity because they have made me a lesser doctor. Sorry, medical student.

Gah.

Mental Health Act

I hereby announce that I have the power to detain anyone whom I deem mentally ill by the year 2010.

No frilly thrills, no glitter mitters, I can just say, 'You are DETAINED!!!!!' and have authority over your very freedom for the next 72 hours.

I can even make use of the Adult Incapacity Act and inject you with all types of nasty drugs up your bottom if you deny treatment and can, I reiterate, CAN repeatedly inject you if you so much as put up a fight.

No, sorry, verbally denying treatment albeit being extremely placid does not work either.

Obviously, you'd be awfully mad at my power over you and start yelling profanities and vulgarities til you are blue in the face.

1 out of 3 doctors get verbally or physically abused in the course of their job. So really, this is just all in a day's work and everything will be hunky dory for me.

I stand at a few arm's length, say, 'Hah, you are obviuosly barking mad. You are now DETAINED!!!!!!'

And you are.

*chuckle chuckle snigger snigger*

from: http://icanhascheezburger.com

If I can add, 'And you have the right to speak but everything you say will be used as evidence in court', heck, I will be as important as a lawyer.

But, I'm a doctor see.

Well, there is the option of you legging it, but mark my words, all I have gotta do is pick up the phone, dial 999 and you'll be back, malediction and all, while the lovely big burly cops truss you up like a chicken and bundle you back into the hospital.

And of course, I inject your butt.

Like the Spidey movie - With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.

All my responsibility lies in signing the correct forms (see, the law says that all it takes is I have to think that it is likely you have a mental disorder - aka a 51% chance will suffice) and informing me boss about my actions.

MMmmmmMMmmm...
Depression is also a mental disorder.

So, one advice:

Start treating me nice.

Belfast

After celebrating the arrival of 2008, I left to Belfast with my brother and cousin.

City Hall with the Belfast Wheel.

Not too unlike Edinburgh right?

The Ferris Wheel at Edinburgh's Christmas Market

Having spent almost 4 years of my life in this country, I have only ever been to 4 cities - London, Glasgow, Cambridge and Oxford, with the latter 2 being more like suburbia rather than large, flashy cities.

So, this is UK city No. 5.

The top tourist attraction in Belfast is the Giant Causeway. Like how the one thing to do in Scotland is to go to Loch Ness to find the Nessie, the Loch Ness monster.

In 2008, a movie called 'The Water Horse' will be released featuring none other than Nessie, called Crichow or something in the film. However, if you visit Scotland and buy their souvenirs of this legendary creature, they call it Nessie. So I'll stick to Nessie.

If you have always wondered what the Scottish accent was like, watch the film.

Back to the Giant Causeway. Tammy and I took a one day trip to the place which is by the sea, about 2 hours bus ride out of Belfast.

Apparently from the Irish coast, one can see Scotland. Even touch them both. Almost. We nearly froze our fingers off in the few seconds trying to take the picture, it was that cold.

It is fabled that the Giant Finn McCool of Ireland saw a beautiful girl at the beach of Scotland named Oonagh. He then crossed over and claimed her as his bride when she is actually the princess of Scottish Giant Benandonner. Of course, Benandonner then had to cross the straits to whoop Finn McCool's ass for stealing his princess. Finn McCool seeing the size of Benandonner (10:1) lost all his guts and Oonagh being the wily one placed him in the cot, pretending that he is her baby. When Benandonner saw the size of Finn McCool and Oonagh's baby, he hastened back to Scotland thinking that the father must be massive (giants are really not very bright, bless them). Finn McCool not only being humsap, was also a coward and threw a piece of earth at Benandonner, causing him to fall and thus creating the Giant Causeway. The piece of earth became the Isle of Man, perfect as another tourist spot for the people of this generation.

Upon arrival at this UNESCO site, we had to go down the Shepherd Steps:

Dem scary ok, steep and narrow..

to reach the site of where Giant Benandonner once tread.

And then again, what is a famous giant without a few toys of his own. We have the Giant's Organ:

Really, really big lor

the Giant's Gates:
and even a piece of his private stash: The Giant's Boot.
Ok, enough about large rocks which is really all that it is.

We were then brought to Derry, the most 'dangerous' town in Nothern Ireland in regards to its strong resistance to the British forces.

Yes, Northern Ireland is still under the British Occupation now when Malaysia was liberated 50 years ago.

Derry, also known as Londonderry (because some Londoners came and stayed) was and still is- site of the most resistance towards the oppression of British troops. There are clearly defined boundaries of the Protestants (British) and Catholics (Irish):

Red, blue and white depicting the Union Jack, ie British grounds

and murals depicting the war and firm opposition towards the invaders:

Sigh.

The Irish are hoping for independence in the next 30 years or so and it had only just regained peace as according to the guide, it is the first time in the last decade that there were no soldiers roaming the streets.

The next day, a blizzard attacked the city.

We left the house looking like this:

and soon:
snowed in.

Look alike ma, person on left and middle share 50% genes and 25% with person on right

The final day was spent shopping at Junction One, a factory outlet store where I got a pair of Ralph Lauren jeans for 6.97 pounds.

Yup, eat your heart out.

Muahahahahhaaha.

Hogmanay

New Year's Eve in Edinburgh is celebrated for 3 consecutive days, starting on the 29th. You have a torch procession from the castle to Carlton Hill and some performance or so I believe that would have been shockingly good only that I did not go, opting for a turkey dinner at home instead.

So the next night, I went. On the 30th of December, the famous George Street ceildih was held full of style on George Street - duh. A ceilidh band plays while people on the street randomly grab the person next to them(provided they are hot - I was grabbed by an overweight aunty in a red coat - so I suppose I am the hot one in this duo) to dance with. Ceilidh is a traditional Scottish dance that is brainless to learn. I think it is the best dance in the world for huge groups and parties because people who have no co ordination at all can still dance it.

There were also random stages set up along the street, one being an Xtreme hairdressing event.
Volunteers from the crowd go on stage and this two hairdressers work their magic:

Yes. That is a DRAGON in his hair.

I do not know what the significance of all the different things are, but you get huge balloons/float like thingys:

and dinosaurs on stilts:
walking through the crowd.

Probably another pagan/celtic thing that makes no sense to me but is perfect for enjoyment sake.

Of course, the eve itself boasts of UK's largest street party, held here, in the heart of Scotland:
5 pounds per ticket to enter what is alike Bukit Bintang's Free Street Party that is held in KL. There were 3 stages of different bands playing, but to get close to any of them is like battling in World War 1.

Best thing is, Leon Jackson, the winner of X Factor (Britain's version of American Idol) was supposed to open the night as he is from *drumroll* - Scotland. And of course, being Scottish and Edinburgh being the capital (not Glasgow ok you idiots) plus hosting the largest street party in the UK, I mean, he just HAS to perform.

So here we are all hyped up and thinking of how merry everything will be when Leon proves his worth of being X Factor champion when BBC reported that Mr. Jackson will not be performing because he has tonsillitis.

Very good timing indeed. Adds another reason to my growing list of dislike for him. I mean, come on, this other contestant was WAY better.


All hail Rhydian.

Andrew Lloyd Webber, the composer of the Phantom of the Opera actually agreed to rewrite the song so that Rhydian could sing it solo for his performance when he heard how good Rhydian was.

Once again, all hail Rhydian.

Don't bother looking at Leon Jackson's. Guaranteed slumber in the first 30 seconds.
But he won because the whole flipping Scotland voted for him. His mom is the receptionist at one of the GP centre's here, and probably got all the rich doctors to send in billions of votes for him. If anyone wants an autograph, I will try my best to pull strings.

Then we have Same Difference.


Yes, the girl is quite annoying and she sang an octave lower than Mariah Carey. But they are so sweet as a couple! (Brother and sister to be exact). And all the dancers are so cute... and their songs are so happy!! ^_^ Go you tube their other videos. Makes me feel like a child once again.

Once again, Leon Jackson is BORING.

Rhydian should have so won the competition.

Anyway, I'm diverging.

Back to Hogmanay and silly Leon's no show.
Lots of people, the street full of muck and of course fireworks at the very end.

Can you spot me?
Yes, the one holding the camera at the back to produce this picture:
You have staunch Scotland supporters too who go all out despite being Malaysian.

When the clock struck 12 midnight (the countdown is quite rubbish here compared to Bkt Bintang as not everyone counts down. -_-. Whats the point of countdown then??) fireworks lit the night sky for 5 minutes.
Happy 2008!!

Merdeka!!

Does this mean that after 50 years of independence we are still like a sinking boat despite all the hard work and opportunities given to us?

Rubbish.

Of Rude People

Rude People should be shot.

Here I am with my brother wanting to go for this walking tour concerning the 'haunted' vaults of Edinburgh. Having been on the same tour like 3-4 times I was not very keen on paying another 6 pounds to watch and listen to the same old stories over again.
But my brother, looking rather excited and being quite an enthusiast for ghostly and unworldly proceedings was hopping up and down on one leg, unable to wait for it to start.

So, I thought, what the heck, I'll just ask them to give me a discount or something when I explain that I have actually been there, seen that and done it. After all, the last time, the other tour operator of the same kind gave me a 2 for 1 price and that was pretty reasonable.

Still, bearing in mind that they might just say an apologetic no due to the fact that they need the 6 pounds to pay for their water bills, I held the cash in my hand, ready to pay up just in case.

"This is my brother from overseas. I actually stay in Edinburgh and have been on this tour for many times now, about 4? I was wondering if I could get a discount or something since I am just accompanying him."

"NO." With a VERY Dulan Face
'"When you go to the movies, you still have to pay for the ticket eventhough you have seen the movie, RIGHT." In a VERY Dulan Voice.

I promptly turned to my brother, spoke in chinese asking him to pay and pocketed the 6 pounds that were in my hands.

If you could so much as said 'no' in a proper and professional way, I would have Tooting paid the money full of grace, no questions asked but since you said it in such a rude and pissifying way, I'll just bloody go for the tour anyway without paying.

I even told you that I stay here, have been on this tour tonnes of times and I know you do not issue tickets and that I could just have snucked both me and my brother in without paying a single cent. But of course, I understand this is your rice bowl. I have even prepared the cash to pay you but since you stupid s*** gave me such a rude answer in such an pompous and affected voice - you have just made me decide to get on the tour for free whatever the case.

So I slipped into the crowd to join the group as they made their way up into the vaults and listened to the same stories again as we walked and groped about in the dark. I suppose I was lucky that no poltergeist of any sort came to cast nasty spells on me due to my fraud but I do not like rude people.

Next day, it rained (like how it always do here) and out we went in search of haggis (true Scottish food), without an umbrella (like how we always do here) and came upon a pub that served it.

"Are you open?"

"Not yet. In 10 minutes."

"Ok, do you think it's alright if we came in to sit and wait out of the rain?"

"NO."

WTF. What kind of restaurant is this man? NO Possible way a chinapek restaurant owner will TURN you away if you are there to give him business.
No tooting possible way.

How can you?

HOW CAN YOU TURN CUSTOMERS AWAY WHO ARE SUFFERING OUT HERE IN THE COLD AND RAIN, WANTING TO COME IN AND GIVE U MONEY AT THE SAME TIME???


I don't understand. Not as if the place was dirty and needed a good cleaning or requiring some major makeover that the presence customers presents a 50% mortality rate. They were folding napkins at the bar and it is 10 blardy minutes to opening.
Like us sitting huddled in the corner is going to delay your grand opening for another 10 hours or something.
It's cold, raining, windy and we were clearly suffering.
No compassion whatsoever. Of course, don't expect us to come back.

I really don't understand what these people are thinking. Is this how they conduct business? Should they be in Asia, they'll be sleeping on the streets in no time.