The End of The Road.... The Start of A New Beginning

You know, I hate beginnings.

I dislike upheaval, I dislike new surroundings, I am even becoming a bit tired of having to make new friends and acquaintances.

Rewind 6 years back, I was raring to leave Malaysia to come to the UK for university, thinking I will make lots of friends, I will experience a whole new culture, come back a different person.

Which I do not think I have.

Sure, things have changed - I have changed (perhaps more for worse) and 5 years of university was what I wouldn't say the best experience of my life, but certainly almost at the top of the list. I think secondary school still tops it.

No wait.
Gosh. Can't decide.

And exactly ONE year ago, on this day, I moved in to Maidstone Hospital, starting a job at a hospital I have NEVER been to, with people I have never met.
While some of the F1s were from GKT, some from Brighton, some from other London unis, I was the sole representative from Scotland.

Makes me wonder what went into my head for going all the way down south only to end up in a whole new unfamiliar environment once again. I remember the first 2 weeks was spent completely alone, and I rang every person in my phonebook to speak to almost every night.
But at work, things was alright because I had a team. Although tough, but being the baby doctor out of medical school, you get a lot of lee way. Besides, I had Lise, my fantastic F1 partner whom I have grown to love and cherish. We work so well together, it's rather unbelievable and she certainly made my blur and scary F1 experience a whole lot easier to deal with (remember asking each other whether our English was correct when writing referral letters Lise?).

Lol.

As the year progressed on, I went through ups and downs - of knowing people were being sociable, but yet sometimes feel I was not invited, still I was invited to all the many houses of friends I have now been to, having my heart broken, experimenting new areas with the obvious ending of burning myself, and finally all the many nights out with a incredible increase in my tolerance to alcohol.

I kid you not.

But the night I went home with busy, bustling Willow House stripped bare of inhabitants and furniture, the hollow feeling in my heart is intolerable.
I did not expect to grow so close to my F1 friends, I did not expect parting to be so difficult, and I certainly did not expect to miss the fellowship and camaraderie so much. Having unsettled issues on my part certainly did not help but then I guess some things are better left unsaid and be allowed to slip away and disappear into the sands of time.

Who would forget what the Willow team taught me in regards to the finer points of the English Language? Especially Lottie who especially dedicated her time to ensure I learnt it all wrongly?
And what about how they all believed at some point that my parents owned a dog factory and imported dogs from RSPCA and Battersea Dogs and Cats home for human consumption?
Yes, the chihuahua is still the most expensive dog meat going at £20/kg of meat.

Also despite having a mostly MIA flatmate, all the fights we had where keys and shoes were thrown out of the window were fun and indeed women are as strong as men. I know in an earlier post I mentioned that I probably would never meet Liam again after F1, and I do still believe that but I think if I made an effort to meet up, he will too. Yes, we have progressed indeed.

All the birthdays that we celebrated together, all the cakes and food we shared, all the mess parties doused in alcohol and merriment with F1s and F2s alike and the rumours that spread like wildfire...

Yes, F1 is going to be the best year ever as we share a bond that no one else have as it was fate that brought us all together in the year of 2010 to Maidstone Hospital.

I will definitely miss it all and although I am dreading every minute now, I reflect back 1 year ago where I was in the exact same position as I am now, only knowing that it got better and better throughout.

I suppose nothing will ever beat my F1 year but as it is where there is an up there is always a down. I am glad I made the massive move from Edinburgh and I never regretted the things I did.

Of course F2 year can only get better.
There is no other way.