Finals: Graduation and Beyond

My Graduation 7/7/2009

Short and sweet, the University of Edinburgh's Graduation Ceremony takes just over an hour to pass their students under its acclaimed hat (quite alike the Hogwarts hat. I am inclined to think JK Rowling got the idea from my uni, afterall she IS from Edinburgh) with a 'tap on the head', signifying an end to our university days.


I have never understood why I pay obscenely high fees to study medicine in the UK.
Still, I've been dishing out the cash for 5 years now and yes, for the uninformed, my graduation cert, which is a flimsy A4 paper printed with possibly HP's Bubble Inkjet Printer (or even maybe Dell's, God forbid) costs a whopping RM 1 million, give or take.

Honestly. I will try not to swear here.

And when you think you've overcome the abominably, excessively, over priced years of education, one can look forward to what is supposedly the happiest day of your life, before marriage that is (or perhaps not for some).

Yet, we can never escape the gyrating wheels of money laundering by our higher education centres. To graduate, I had to pay £40. TO GRADUATE. Yes, yes. To be allowed to graduate, I had to pay £40.

And then, comes the renting of robes. £35. Not down payment, mind you. A one off payment.

Of course, being the new generation stylish graduate about to storm the workforce, one must dress to impress.
After reviewing all previous graduands attire, we (please note, I am not that superficial, this was done as a collaborative project between a few of us) came to an unanimous decision that the best outfit will include a FITTED white shirt (please, no loose, straight cut shirts that makes you look like a block of cheese) - the more outstanding the collar the better, cuff-linked-sleeves, a black skirt - this varied, some wore pretty flare ones, some wore normal A line ones, but I highly recommend a pencil skirt (once again - FITTED, NO loose ones that hangs below your knees; or to mid calf - OMG) , and I include another vital fashion accessory - a belt, thick or thin, depending on how it looks on you, or in my case, what is available.
Oh, and finally shoes. Court shoes with HEELS please, no flatties, and really, NO OTHER SHOE WILL SUFFICE. Full stop. Black patent leather looks the coolest, of course you can go for bright colours if you want to look a bit like a clown, or you can choose the uber cool colour I got which was dark purple. Do Not Forget Stockings.

It's all about the planning people. How do you think Beyonce looks like Beyonce?

On that day, for heaven's sake, please put on some make up. I know, I know, we are all about au naturale, going green and sh*t, but put all those selfless thoughts and Mother Naturey goodness aside and be selfish for once. You need to look good. GOOD dammit. Do you want to look back in 10 years and see how your pimple twinkled so distractingly in your pictures? Or how your face looked like a patchwork quilt of browns and yellows, or even, how small and droopy your eyes were? When you can overcome all these imperfections with a magical wave of the mascara wand?
NO.
Stop thinking that people will appreciate your natural beauty and that you are still young at 24, 23, 22 or whatever age you are when you graduate. It is irrelevant.
Wake up, grow up, it is time to compile your range of beauty products, time to master the art of make up and utmostly, time to tooting START using what was created to help women look better. I agree 100% with the term - there are no ugly women on this planet, only lazy ones. Well. Maybe 99.9%. The remaining 0.1% will just have to go see a plastic surgeon.

Att: Please note that I do not advocate the overuse of make up. If you turn up looking pasty white and as colourful as if you are about to make your debut as an extra on the West End's Phantom of the Opera Masquerade Ball scene, I'd say, please just accept your natural beauty, imperfections and all. Or, pay for a professional make up artist. If money can solve a problem, then it is not a problem.
If you can graduate from a UK university, then money should NOT be a problem.

So 5 of us got our white shirts from TM Lewin, because, did you know that it is actually bloody hard to find white shirts in the UK?? There are no G2000's around. Marks & Spencer's looked promising, until 3 of us girls were advised by the sales assistant to try the children's department because their sizes goes up to size 16.
Uh, EXCUSE ME MOI?
Must be because Kai Lin (who looks about as thin as the average chinese Malaysian girl whose BMI is 15) asked. But I was there and I am sure I am an average angmoh girl's size, of normal BMI (aka bigger than 90% of the average chinese Malaysian girl) heck, I'm even taller than that silly sales assistant, and you DARE ASK ME TO GO TO THE CHILDREN'S DEPARTMENT!?!?
Someone needs to fire her. Or educate her regarding clothes.

At the end of the day a few days, I finally put my entire outfit together.
A white shirt from TM Lewin - £25
A black skirt from Zara - £25
A pair of purple patent leather shoes from Faith - £25
Thank goodness the belt was free, although it is definitely the most expensive item of my entire outfit - still, it was bought from before so I shall not be including it in my overhead costs.


In total, I paid £150 to graduate.

I love the way money is made in the circle of life.

And then, of course, let's not forget the additional items that the university adds to squeeze the last penny from you Just before you leave their wide halls and elaborately carved arches forever.

A picture of the entire year - £22
A Latin inscribed script of your cert -£20 (£23 for EU grads, inclusive of VAT, yay, we untung £3 here)
A DVD of your graduation ceremony - £25
and the one thing that everyone WILL get - professional photography of you and your family, which I paid £127.


I think I should consider opening a university of my own.

My Graduation Ball 9/7/2009

£100 for the ticket, which included a champagne reception, a 3 course meal in a marquee at Mellerstain House (with high class hotel-like portable toilets), ceilidh cum dance band, transport to and fro, a late night snack bag, free Lush soaps (one that can prevent MRSA, really!?), half a bottle of wine each, port, and a bouncy thingy outside the marquee.


Having a tag saying Dr. Rachel Hung is really quite pleasing. It cost me my daddy RM 1 million. Let's not forget that.

Mellerstain House. Owned by Sir and Lady Haddington. 1 hour out of Edinburgh. In the middle of nowhere.Expansive land, with fountains, statues and what not, no wonder it HAS to be in the middle of nowhere. Considering I stay in a 10 feet by 4 feet box room, paying £320/month, I think I'd quite like to pay for a palace in the middle of nowhere where I can allow my kambings and lembus to run free.

The marquee and it's entrance:


It's amazing how they can build a gate from nothing. No wonder the ticket cost £100. Still, I'd be quite happy for it to be £50 and in a Princes St hotel in the MIDDLE of Edinburgh.


Anyway, once again, the same rules of getting a nice outfit, doing hair and make up applies, although this is pretty standard for most people as I am very sure everyone has been to a ball or other. Hm. Make it quite sure.

I was a bit disappointed that so few Malaysians went. But I understand that they might not enjoy it, and the price is honestly very steep. I had double thoughts myself. However, like Victoria puts it, it is after all, OUR graduation, and no matter how bad the night will end up (of course it won't, just wash it down with alcohol) we will look back in 10 years and fondly remember the night that was.

Aye.

I've officially graduated.

Dr. Hung at your service.